Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/The CW Photo: Bonnie Smiles in Season 3, Episode 5: “The Reckoning”

One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the 20 notable quotables from Season 3, Episode 5, “The Reckoning.” Warning: Once again, Klaus was on a witty little roll.

20. Just the facts
Matt (to Bonnie): “You’re a witch. My sister’s a ghost, and I’m just a guy who’s wondering how life got so screwed up.”

19. I’m so over you
Damon (to Katherine): “Thought I’d give it a shot. But the truth is, you just don’t do it for me anymore.”

18. Somebody needs anger management
Rebekah (to Stefan): “My brother’s been breaking your neck all afternoon. Quite the temper.”

17.Isn’t it ironic?
Tyler (to Caroline): “I’m kissing you, and you’re wondering about your ex boyfriend.”

16. The way we were
Matt (to Bonnie): “Do you realize that just last summer you and I were lifeguards at the pool and the only two problems I had were that Elena was breaking up with me and I sucked at CPR.

 

15.May cause drowsiness and bleeding from the eyes
Klaus (to Bonnie): “Your witchy interference has caused some undesirable side effects.”

14. You don’t say…
Klaus: “Every time I attempt to turn a werewolf into a vampire hybrid, they die.”

13. You’re dismissed
Klaus (to Bonnie): “Go on then. Go on and fetch your grimoires and what not.”

12. Look who’s a mean girl
Rebekah (to Klaus): “So this is the latest doppelganger. The original one was much prettier.”

11. What’s his calling plan?
Bonnie (to Matt): “I can’t contact the dead. Jeremy can.”

10. Hypothetically speaking
Katherine: “What if I told you there was a way to kill Klaus. And not dagger dead. Dead-dead. “
Damon: “I’d say you were desperate and lying. Or drunk. Or desperate, lying, and drunk.”

9. Cheers!
Klaus: “Let’s drink on it. Kill them.”

8. I pledge allegiance to the vamp…
Klaus (to Stefan): “All I wanted was your allegiance. Now I’ll have to take it.”

7. We’d hate to see how she makes frittata
Katherine (to Damon): “My advice: If you want to make an omelet you have to break a few legs.”

6. Good question
Rebekah: “Why is that doppelganger bitch wearing my necklace?”

5. A leap of faith
Matt (on phone to Bonnie): “You don’t need magic, Bonnie. You just have to be better than I was at CPR.”

4. More, more, more (how do you like it?)
Stefan (to Elena): “The more blood I get, the more I want. And if I get so much as near yours, you are dead.”

3. Oh the zoomanity
Klaus (to Stefan): “Come on. Your humanity is killing you.”

2. You know that they say about a woman scorned
Klaus (to Rebekah): “You know how much the original witch hated me. Do you honestly think I would do anything other than the opposite of what she says?”
Rebekah: “One thousand years in the grave, and she’s still screwing with you.”

1. From your mouth to Nielsen ratings' ear
Tyler: “This is going to be an amazing year.”

 

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