One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the top 25 notable quotables from this week’s episode, “Do Not Go Gentle.”
25. Show Bonnie some love
Jamie: You really are pretty amazing.
Bonnie: Sometimes I think I’d settle for just ordinary.
24. You promise?
Klaus (to Caroline): One dance. I won’t bite.
23. Words spoken, words remembered
Stefan: Given our dangerous dance karma, are you sure you’re up for this?
Elena: Getting out of bed these days is dangerous. But we have to live our lives.
Stefan: Who gave you that horrible advice?
Elena: Some guy I used to date said it once or twice.
22. Back in the daze
Elena: Teach me some moves.
Stefan: I blacked out for most of this decade. Remember?
21. That’s a major mea culpa
Alaric: They’re all monsters. The blood of their victims is on my hands. Jenna’s blood is on my hands.
20. Aw shucks
Stefan (to Elena): After everything I put you through I’m just honored to be your date tonight.
19. Is there another option?
Elena: What are you suggesting we do?
Damon: I’m suggesting we put him out of his misery.
Jeremy: No way in hell.
Damon: Oh come on. It’s what he would want. It’s a mercy killing.
18. When you say it loud, it does sound crazy
Jamie: You’ve got to admit this whole circle of people is kind of crazy. I mean there’s vampires, werewolves, ex-boyfriends with magic rings. I mean, I’m just a normal guy.
Bonnie: A normal guy who wouldn’t hesitate to go on a date with me.
17. She gets by with a little help from her frenemies
Esther: How do I return to my true form? With some magic and a little help from a vampire hunter.
16. So cute
Caroline (about Matt and Jeremy): Look at them, all bromancy.
15. Elena needs to think like a man
Caroline: Here’s a thought: Why don’t you ask Stefan?
Elena: I can’t ask Stefan on a date. I just made out with his brother.
Caroline: All the more reason.
14. Small chance
Klaus (to Caroline): You mark my words: Small town boy. Small town world. It won’t be enough for you.
13. She calls ‘em like she sees ‘em
Caroline (to Elena): Stefan is your epic love and I’m not going down without a fight.
12. That’s what friends are for
Damon: I offered to snap his neck and put him out of his misery but he didn’t take me up on it.
Meredith: You seem surprised.
Damon: Well you just think a guy who’s so used to dying wouldn’t want to drag it out.
Meredith: Well it was nice of you to give him an option.
Damon: Apparently my choices have been a little controversial lately.
11. Absolute accessory
Damon (to Stefan): I’m thinking, gardenia corsage. Wrist, obviously. You don’t want to accidentally stab her in the chest. That could get messy.
10. But does he really mean it?
Damon: Are you still mad at me for what happened to Abby? Let me apologize. I’m sorry Elijah forced us to turn your mother into a vampire to save Elena’s life. But we didn’t exactly have a choice.
Bonnie: There’s always a choice. But whenever you make one someone else suffers.
9. From bad to worse
Elena: You said you want to undo the evil you created but this is just as evil.
8. Good question
Klaus: I wonder if revenge will prove worth the cost.
7. True words
Alaric: My dark side was dangerous enough as a human. I can’t be a vampire.
6. For real
Jeremy: Don’t give me some crap speech about how I need to be the man of the house.
5. It’s not a job — it’s a career
Jamie: Thank you for protecting me.
Bonnie: Apparently it’s what I do.
4. One last apology
Damon: Sorry I killed you. Twice.
Alaric: So I have to actually die to get a real apology out of you.
3. Now that’s what we call patience
Klaus: Perhaps one day, maybe in a year or even in a century, you’ll turn up at my door and allow me to show you what the world has to offer.
2. Payback is a b—
Alaric: Is this the part where you give me a dream with rainbows and rolling green hills?
Damon: I was drunk when I told you that.
Alaric: Yeah and I told you I’d use it against you.
Damon: Damn you.
1. Her protector
Stefan: After I bit you I never wanted to feel anything again. But someone kept telling me that it was okay to feel no matter how much it hurt. That our emotions are what makes us human.
Elena: Who gave you that horrible advice?
Stefan: Some girl I used to date.
Elena: I don’t have anyone anymore.
Stefan: You have me.