Credit: Bob MahoneyThe CW ©2011 The CW Network, LLC Photo: Damon and Andie Come Home in Season 2, Episode 19: "Klaus"

Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth! So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from Episode 19, “Klaus.”

6. That’s just petty.
Stefan: Where’s Elena?
Damon: I don’t know. She’s your girlfriend.

5. Have you met my ego?
Damon (to Stefan): That might be your plan. Mine’s better.

4. Stupid is as stupid does
Damon: I’d love to lend you a hand but you wouldn’t want me to do anything stupid.
Stefan: You seriously going to be like this?
Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I’m just backing off.

3. A different path
Andie: Hi.
Damon: Hi.
Andie: Where are we going?
Damon: Splitting from the team. Going rogue.

2. Too bad
Damon: Thought you might be dead.
Katherine: Unfortunately not.

1. Don’t you talk to your brother like that!
Stefan: Tired of your little plaything already?
Damon: Don’t start with me Stefan.
Stefan: She’s a person. You’re victimizing her.
Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. She’s keeping me from going for what I really want.
Stefan: You’re right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend.
Damon: And there it is.
Stefan: There it is. You know you can be in love with Elena all you want if it means that you’ll protect her. But I have the one thing that you never will.
Damon: Oh yeah. What’s that?
Stefan: Her respect.