full size Damon and Elena Work Together in Season 1, Episode 14: "Fool Me Once"
Credit: Quantrell Colbert/The CW ©2009 The CW Network, LLC
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Damon and Elena Work Together in Season 1, Episode 14: "Fool Me Once"

Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth. So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from “Homecoming.”

7. At least he’s a good host
Damon: “I’d offer you a drink but Katherine tells me you’re more of a vampire on the rocks guy.”

6. Someone’s got a case of the ‘sposdas’
Damon: “What the hell’s wrong with you? You’re not supposed to witchy migraine me.”
Bonnie: “You’re not supposed to kill Tyler.”

5.Dude!
Damon (about Stefan): “You couldn’t just break his neck?”
Mikael: “Well that certainly occurred to me.”

4. Reliable like a fox
Damon (to Elena): “Oh really. ‘Cause you know vampires are usually so reliable.”

3. Smooth transition
Damon (to Elena about Rebekah): “Her lying, mama-killing, dagger-happy brother. Wolfsbane’s ready.”

2. Good-girl gone vamp hunter
Damon (about Rebekah): “In the back. Harsh.”
Elena: “It had to be done. Rebekah was never going to be completely on our side.”
Damon: “Hey, I’m not judging you. It’s very Katherine of you.”
Elena: “Not the way to make me feel better about myself, Damon.”
Damon: “It was a compliment.”
Elena: “If someone’s going to let their humanity get in the way and screw this whole thing up it’s probably going to b e me.”
Damon: “Elena, you just daggered somebody. You’re going to be fine.”

1. Lousy security
Damon: “Here’s my RSVP. [He snatches a guy’s heart out.] Hybrid.”

 

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