Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW ©2011 The CW Network, LLC Photo: Alaric and Damon Drink Their Problems Away in Season 2, Episode 20: "The Last Day"

Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth. Especially now that he’s all werewolf-bite sick! So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from Episode 21, “The Sun Also Rises.”


8. Ouch

Damon: Enjoy eternity alone, Katherine.


7. An oldie but a goodie

Damon: You’re a day late and a dollar short, John.


6. Act like you know

Uncle John: You ruined her life. You know that, right?
Damon: I know John. I took her choices, destroyed her future. I get it.


5. Why can’t he care about Bonnie?

Damon: We have a witch. She kills Klaus. No one has to die.
Alaric: Except Bonnie.


4. Make it quick

Damon: Skip to the Save-Elena part.


3. But he’s the “G” in OMG

Damon: Her soul. Really? You’re going to put your faith in some Act-of-God mumbo jumbo?
Uncle John: I refuse to let Elena become the thing I spent my life protecting her against. And you can call that God, or mystical energy or whatever you want. But, yes, I’m putting my faith in it.

2. Kat killer

Katherine: One hundred and forty-five years and no last goodbye?
Damon: You don’t get a goodbye.
Katherine: Don’t. Don’t leave mad.
Damon: Us ending up on good terms is not exactly on my bucket list, Katherine.


1. Because he never has an appetite…

Damon: I think I’ll skip the coffee and the teacakes.


Bonus Sad Snark:

Damon (to Stefan): You want to do something for me? Keep this from Elena. The last thing she needs is another grave to mark.