Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW ©2011 The CW Network, LLC Photo: Alaric and Damon Drink Their Problems Away in Season 2, Episode 20: "The Last Day"

Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth! So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from Episode 20, “The Last Day.”

9. Famous Last words

Caroline
: Damon?
Damon: I’m fine.

8. Regretfully yours

Damon (to Tyler): Don’t make me regret this.

7. At least he learns from his mistakes

Damon (to Matt): You’re lucky I already screwed up once today. Or you’d be dead.

6. Truth be told

Damon (to Stefan, after he sucked on Elena’s wrist): Admit it. You just wish you had the balls to do it yourself.

5. D’s got the write stuff
Elena: Bonnie can’t use that much power without dying.
Damon: I’ll write her a great eulogy.
Elena: That’s not an option Damon.

4. The Best Laid Plan?

Damon (to Elijah): That’s your plan? A magical witch potion with no expiration date?

3. So you take the werewolf and…

Damon: I need to know where Klaus is keeping his werewolf.
Katherine: Why? What are you going to do?
Damon: Dead werewolf equals no ritual.

2. Let’s play the “What if” game

Damon: What if I tell you Elena has vampire blood in her system?
Katherine: What?
Damon: Imagine how much fun that will be, competing with Elena for Stefan’s love for — oh, I don’t know — forever.

1. It’s all about faith

Damon: Elijah’s an original vampire Stefan. One we tried to kill. You don’t believe this guy.
Stefan: What do you want me to do Damon? Elena made her decision. She’s choosing to trust Elijah. I’m going to put my faith in her.
Damon: Why? She’s just going to end up dead.
Stefan: Because she put her faith in me. She chose to trust me in spite of what I am. If I’m going to bet on someone instincts it’s going to be hers.
Damon: Then that makes you the biggest idiot of them all.
Stefan: She chose to trust you too.
Damon: Maybe you shouldn’t be so sure about her instincts.