One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the top 29 notable quotables from Season 4, Episode 7, “My Brother’s Keeper.”
29. His Sister’s Keeper
Jeremy: What am I doing here?
Stefan: Getting a chance to make your sister human again. You interested?
Jeremy: You have no idea.
28. Can’t he be both?
Elena (about Professor Shane): Jack-of-all-trades. Or kind of creepy?
27. New Word Alert!
Caroline (to Elena): Fine: Friend-ter-vention.
Professor Shane (to Damon): You again? I must be the least intimidating mass murderer ever.
25. Eat your feelings.
Stefan: I’m not depressed. I just want to rip into someone’s artery and feed until I can’t breathe anymore.
24. Brotherly love.
Damon (to Elena): Stefan told me about the breakup. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.
23. Wait, he still goes to school?
Caroline (to Stefan): Your Mystic Falls attendance record totally sucks.
22. Feelings, nothing more than feelings
Stefan: She said she had feelings for Damon.
Caroline: What?! She can’t feelings for Damon. He’s Damon. And you’re you. And I’m revolted.
Caroline (to Stefan): There’s sublimating and then there’s insanity.
20. Shout, shout. Let it all out.
Stefan (to Damon): Let’s not pretend like this isn’t the best day of your life.
19. One for the Don’t Do list
Caroline (to Elena): You weren’t supposed to let Damon weasel his way into your confused newbie vampire heart.
18. For reals!
Matt (to Jeremy): How do you wake up with a knife in your hand and not remember how it got there?
17. Consider that finger pointed.
Damon: How did you convince the pastor to kill all those people?
Shane: Did you just accuse me of mass murder in the middle of a high school pageant?
16. That joke’ll get you killed
Hayley (joking with the Miss Mystic Falls tiara): I just want to thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I’m a raging bitch.
Tyler: You don’t want to do that. Those girls will cut you. And they have nails.
Hayley: I have claws.
15. Say what you really think, Caroline.
Caroline (to Elena): Damon’s never right. Damon is sneaky and manipulative and rude. But he’s never right.
14. Ask the expert.
Caroline: How did I become the bad guy?
Klaus: Let’s get you a drink, and I’ll tell you all about being the bad guy.
13.That’s what they say about steroids.
Caroline (about Elena): Being a vampire only amplifies who you already are. It doesn’t turn you into a completely different person.
12. Do you even know what “cure” means?
Klaus: Why would I want to cure myself of being the most powerful creature on the planet?
11. Isn’t that probable cause?
Damon (about Hayley and Professor Shane): How do those two know each other?
Tyler: They don’t. Paranoid much?
Damon: The council just got burned to a crisp. This mysterious hunter just blew to town. And this guy just happens to know everything about everything. Yes, paranoid.
10. But Jer, thoughts aren’t real..
Jeremy (to Elena): Connor was right. All I can think about is killing vampires. … Everything inside me is telling me to drive this stake through your heart.
Tyler (about Professor Shane): The sooner we get rid of this guy, the better.
8. We agree.
Elena (to Stefan): If getting my humanity back means stripping Jeremy of his, then I don’t want that.
7. A good reason to move out
Jeremy (to Matt): I can’t keep living here if I’m going to kill my sister.
6. That’s what friends are for
Matt (to Jeremy): I’ll keep an eye on you and we can keep this hunter business in check.
5. We have a Stelena fan.
Caroline (to Stefan, about Elena): You and her? Epic.
4. A new kind of bro bonding
Elena: My brother wants to kill me.
Damon: Welcome to the club.
3. Oh, yes he does!
Elena (to Stefan): You don’t have to love me like this.
2. And you’re just now figuring this out?
Stefan: Elena is sired to Damon!
1. It’s so hard to say goodbye…
Elena (to Stefan): This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge. Let her go.