Bachelor’s Vienna Girardi on Miscarrying Her Twins: “I Try Not to Think About It” (VIDEO)
It's been three months since Vienna Girardi miscarried her twin daughters, but no time is enough time to heal from such a tragedy.
The former Bachelor star, who "won" Jake Pavelka's Season 14, is opening up for the first time about her pregnancy loss and updating fans on how she's doing now in the wake of it all.
In June, shortly after breaking off her engagement, the former reality star revealed she was expecting twins, yet didn't reveal the identity of the babies' father.
Two months later, she planned a gender reveal party for friends and family, and shared with the public that both babies were girls.
But just two weeks after that, Vienna had more news to share — she lost the babies at 18 weeks gestation as a result of Twin to Twin Tranfusion Syndrome, when one twin takes nutrients from the other in utero through the shared placenta.
Vienna tells The Doctors that when she was about five months pregnant and after she had started picking out names and designing the nursery, her water broke.
"I called 911 and just immediately started crying," she recalls. "I know my babies can't survive at 18 weeks."
"The doctors suggested that they induce me and go into labor but I refused. I wanted to try and save them."
"After a few days, I went into septic shock," she cries. "I couldn't feel them moving anymore. I got an ultrasound and there were no longer any heartbeats."
About ten days after her August 3 loss, she revealed the miscarriage to the public in a heartbreaking Facebook note to her daughters (above).
Now, the 31-year-old says she's still mourning.
"I try my hardest not to think about it," she reveals.
"But every day I get in the elevator and there's a woman in my building who's pregnant... everytime I hold my goddaughter or hold my niece, I don't want to let them go.
"Every day there's just constant reminders. I'm trying so hard to try and move past it but it seems impossible to stop thinking about it."
Vienna also admits that she fears what most women who miscarry fear — she may not be ever be able to have more children.
"With the surgery that I went through, one of the things [doctors] had said was you may not be able to have children again."
But there's good news.
"... but when I woke up, I remember asking my mom if I'll be able to have kids and she looked at me and she said 'yes.' She said 'the doctor said everything went smoothly and you will be able to get pregnant.'"
We give Vienna a lot of credit for sharing her story on such a public platform and hope she (and her anonymous partner) will welcome a healthy baby soon.
Cheers to that!
What do you think of Vienna's story? Do you admire her for opening up about it? Tell us below.