WALKING DEAD SPOILERS AHEAD! Stop reading if you haven’t seen "Arrow on the Doorpost" which aired Sunday, March 10 on AMC.

"We're going to war!" So ... way to go, peace talks!

Instead of killing The Governor — which would arguably solve many problems for many people in one fell swoop — Andrea got The Gov and Rick together to talk on The Walking Dead Season 3, Episode 13, "Arrow on the Doorpost." But the fearless leaders were in no mood for peace. They are gearing up for war — unless Rick and Team Prison hand over Michonne, the woman who killed The Gov’s already dead daughter and stabbed his eye. Then The Gov will just let everyone else go. Right. Rick should’ve just slapped The Gov at the table for that suggestion. Just a good Real Housewives slap. There’s no way Team Prison is giving up Michonne. Not after she helped the group during the first Woodbury attack and certainly not after their bonding road trip on Episode 12. She has awesome taste in cat kitsch! She stays. Or would you sell her out, if you were Rick? Not that The Gov had any intention of sticking to his promise. His pants are perpetually on fire.

Point to ponder: If Rick just shot and killed The Governor right there, do you think the people of Woodbury would avenge him, the way Team Prison would avenge Rick’s death? The people of Woodbury seem to love The Gov, but they aren’t warriors. They are training for war now, but they’re more like the people of Westeros on Game of Thrones — they don’t really care who is king, they just want peace and quiet with full bellies and a safe place to sleep at night. If The Gov was gone they’d probably just want someone else to help them keep the peace. Maybe it could be Andrea, or Tyreese. Or even Martinez. He seems to have potential. If he doesn’t defect from Woodbury next week, maybe he could lead. Just get rid of this power-hungry, lying control freak and give the job to someone more open-minded. 

Read on for a full recap of Episode 13:

THE BIG MEETING
Another silent opener. A little less conversation, a little more action. Rick and Daryl are like Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Best bromance on television — and that jacket looks mighty fine on Daryl. Plus, who doesn’t love silent badass Hershel with his multiple guns as the getaway driver/lookout? Daryl covers Rick as Rick goes into a non-prison/non-Woodbury location to meet The Governor for the first time. Thirteen episodes into a season that’s all about these two guys and this is the first time they see each other. The Governor says the first words of the ep: “We have a lot to talk about.” Or you could JUST SHOOT HIM, RICK!

IT’S TIME TO SIT DOWN AND TALK
The Gov attacked the prison. He tells Rick he could’ve killed them all and didn’t. Does he want a medal? Rick pulls his gun on The Gov. Just. Do. It. The Gov puts down his weapons (although he has a secret one stashed under the table) and Rick holsters his gun. Outside Daryl tells Hershel “it don’t feel right.” A car pulls up with Martinez, Milton and Andrea inside. Andrea didn’t even know The Gov was there. Does Andrea ever know anything? Andrea wanted them to talk. “Too many people have died for no reason. Let’s end this. Save the bullets for the real threat. We can solve this.” Rick knows about the raids, the heads, Maggie. The Gov tried to pin that on Merle. The Gov says he knows all about Rick and “we’re here to move forward.” What could The Gov possibly have on Rick, besides his mental instability? The Gov made all the first moves.

MILTON VS. DARYL
New couple alert? Kidding. Outside the summit, Daryl dissed Milton: “Great, he brought his butler.” Milton said he’s the adviser, then added: “I don’t feel like I need to explain myself to the henchman.” He has some sass to him! Daryl: “You better watch your mouth, sunshine.” Once again, Hershel has to be the voice of reason. Hershel should be running both the prison and Woodbury. 

TEAM PRISON GETS WEAPONS READY
Glenn gives people directions in the prison as they get weapons ready. Merle wants them to take their firepower to The Gov. Michonne reminds him they told Rick and Daryl they’d stay put. Merle changed his mind. He doesn’t want to be on the sidelines as Daryl is out there. Carl said his dad can take care of himself but — ever Mr. Sunshine — Merle said Rick’s head could be on a spike. Glenn makes a decision to stay put. His decision is final? Apparently he’s in charge at the prison. Is Merle going to go rogue?

NEGOTIATIONS … GO BAD
Rick tells The Gov Woodbury takes west of the river. The prison takes east. “No one crosses. No one trades.” Sounds like a fair plan. Andrea agrees that they should hammer out boundaries and leave each other alone. The Gov literally laughs it off. And they call Rick crazy! Rick yells at Andrea that he was told The Gov was willing to talk. The Gov reminds Rick of Andrea’s lack of power. “The truth is, Rick, she’s in no position to make such an offer anyway. I’m here for one thing only: Your surrender.” Such a great idea, this meeting!

RICK & THE GOV TALK ABOUT MERLE … AND LITTLE ASS-KICKER
The Gov just blames Merle for the Glenn and Maggie bit. “He’s a wild card but he’s effective. He gets the dirty job done.” Rick expected The Gov to take responsibility.

The Gov: “I thought you were a cop, not a lawyer.”
Rick: “Either way, I don’t pretend to be a governor.”

Nice. Point for Rick. Rick also calls The Gov “the town drunk, who knocked over my fence and ripped up my yard. Nothing more.” He’s winning the insult battle. The Gov just keeps smiling. The Gov wants to know if Rick has ever misjudged someone. Andrea told The Gov that Judith may not be Rick’s baby? Why the heck would she be telling stories like that? It’s Rick’s restitution for failing to see the “devil” beside him. Rick: “Oh, I see him alright.” Yeah, Shane seems tame right about now. How would Shane deal with The Gov, do you think?

BONDING TIME!
Someone has to keep a record of what they’ve gone through, since it’s part of their history. Milton did it. He’s got dozens of interviews. Hershel and Milton should be besties. But then walkers show up. While Martinez and Daryl offer each other the first kill, Andrea jumps in. She is good at killing walkers, even if she’s not great at peace talks … or dating … or staying loyal to friends like Michonne. So … while Hershel and Milton talk history and medicine (Hershel explains about his leg), Daryl and Martinez bond over killing. It's a zombie killing contest! Maybe these two can be buddies. Will Martinez leave Woodbury to join Team Prison? Martinez seems skeptical about the peace talks. Daryl too. Two soldiers on opposite sides of the trenches sharing a smoke. Meanwhile, Milton wants Hershel to flash his stump. “I’m not showing you my leg. I just met you. At least buy me a drink first.” Ha!

INSIDE ... THEY ARE ALSO SORT OF BONDING OVER LOSING THEIR WIVES
The Gov said Rick’s group shot up Main Street. If he lets that backyard threat persist he looks weak and the whole thing crumbles. “If we choose to destroy everything we fought for over the past year, we’re going to kill everyone we know at your prison, back in Woodbury, people we love, Rick.” He tells the story of taking crap from his boss one day, then he got a call that his wife was in an accident. He held the phone knowing he would never see her again. She had left him a voice-mail wanting him to call. He wonders what she had wanted to say. Maybe she wanted to warn him not to start a war with a neighboring group of people once the zombie apocalypse starts.

BACK AT THE PRISON...YEP, MERLE IS GOING ROGUE
Merle said they can’t stop him. Maggie told him if Michonne can live by their rules, why can’t he? Because it’s his brother! Glenn blocks his exit.

Glenn: “I’m not going to let you put them in danger.”
Merle: “Nut up already, boy. This guy cops a feel of your woman and you pussy out like this?”

Reason #5,128 to get rid of Merle. And the next reason is that he tries to beat up Glenn, again. Michonne helps pull Merle off and Beth — Beth! — fires a shot in the air to get everyone to calm down. Get down with your bad self, Beth.

ANDREA GETS THERAPY FROM HERSHEL
Andrea doesn’t know what she’s doing there. She wants to know what happened with Maggie. Hershel’s answer: “He’s a sick man.”

Andrea: “What am I gonna do now? I can’t go back there.” She cries.
Hershel: “We’re family. You belong with us. But if you join us. It’s settled.”
Andrea: “I know.”

Easy choice, girl.

THE GOV WANTS RICK TO HAND OVER MICHONNE
The Gov tells Rick he never wanted this job, but no one else wanted it either. His people aren’t combat-tested like the prison group, but he’s got more of them. “This fight, it will go down to the last man.” What about the women? “So let’s end it. Today. Let’s not do this. We can walk away.” The Gov wants the “one thing that makes this all all right.” He doesn’t want the prison. He doesn’t want them to move on. He flashes his bad eye. “I want Michonne. Turn her over and this all goes away. She worth it? One woman worth all those lives at your prison? Is she?” 

MERLE TALKS TO MICHONNE
Merle tells her the people of the prison are strong and fighters but they’re not killers. (Just try that speech on Carl, man!) Speaking of killers, remember how Merle tried to kill Michonne? Michonne looks like she’s about to consider joining Merle to just go out and kill The Gov, but she said he’s on his own. If he gets people killed, it’s on him. Michonne also asks about Andrea. So she still cares!

GLENN & MAGGIE MAKE UP & MAKE OUT
She keeps him company on his watch, but he’s upset. He realizes when they got back from Woodbury he made it all about himself and didn’t give her space. Is this soap opera talk necessary? They get each other. They don’t need this. But it’s nice of him to apologize. He was all prideful hot-head about what happened. They kiss and tell each other they love each other. Don’t get killed! Whenever anyone is happy on this show, they end up dead in a minute. They see the walkers watching their makeout session so we have to watch them get more private for sexy time. Hmph.

WHY RISK IT ALL OVER A VENDETTA?
Killing Michonne is beneath him, doesn’t he think, Rick asks. The Gov said he can save his son, save his daughter, and everyone he knows. It’s his choice. No it isn’t. It’s The Gov’s choice. Rick wonders how he knows The Gov will keep his word. The guy is a known liar. The Gov said Rick has two days. He’ll be there at noon. High noon! It’s a classic Western shootout. Go get Morgan and have him be a sniper on a nearby roof — when The Gov comes back at noon, have Morgan shoot him.

THE GOV IS ALREADY PLANNING TO BREAK THE DEAL
He wants to kill Rick and the others and keep Michonne alive. To avoid a slaughter. As Milton notes, that is a slaughter. The Gov: “Not on our end.” They have to eliminate Rick eventually. The Gov lies to Andrea again. She can’t be gullible enough to believe him. 

RICK TALKS TO TEAM PRISON
“So I met this Governor...” Merle thinks he should’ve killed him right there. Agreed. Rick tells them The Gov wants them all dead. He wants them gone for what they did to Woodbury. “We’re going to war.” JUST. KILL. THE. GOVERNOR. One guy. No one else wants this war. Hershel and Carol want them to take their chances on the road. Rick tells Hershel about the “choice” they were given, about Michonne. Rick thinks The Gov would kill her, then kill them anyway. “What if he doesn’t? What if this is the answer?” He didn’t tell the group about it because he wants them afraid. Hershel says Michonne has earned her place. Rick agrees. “Are you willing to sacrifice your daughters’s lives for her?” Don’t put this on him — all you had to do was kill The Governor. Rick wants Hershel to talk him out of it. This would’ve been Dale’s job, back in the day.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Sounds like “Warm Shadow” by Fink.

COMING UP
Andrea wants to stop this. “I have to kill him.” She talks to Milton — and tells Tyreese that The Gov is not all he seems. Remember when Michonne tried to get Andrea to understand that?

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Credit: YouTube Photo: Promo For The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 14 "Prey": Woodbury Drama!
Credit: YouTube Photo: Sneak Peek of The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 14 "Prey": Tyreese Has Bad Aim
Credit: YouTube Photo: Sneak Peek of The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 14 "Prey": "I Have to Kill Him"