Do we even have to reiterate why Craig Muhlbauer was eliminated on the May 26 Bachelorette episode? No? Yeah, we didn’t think so. After the tax accountant from Colorado acted like a drunken idiot during the group stripping date, he tried hard to make it up to Andi Dorfman. Except, apparently he has no connection with reality, because his version of fixing things was singing a tuneless, awful song whilst wearing a vest. So, Craig, guys, Craig is gone. You can find him at your local bar.
Also on the chopping block tonight was pro golfer Nick Sutter. We thought he looked pretty foxy in that silver robot getup, but apparently Andi’s type is less perineumnal than we assumed. Too bad so sad for Nick, but we’re sure he was allowed to keep both that silver mankini and the red thong he was sporting, since he got a hole in one. (Hilarity ensues!)
Last up and out was Carl King. We don’t know why, since the opera singer guy was allowed to stay and Carl seems pretty good, especially in those Clark Kent glasses from the Rose Ceremony. Perhaps he didn’t give a convincing enough portrayal of a firefighter in the stripping date? Except, you know, he’s an actual firefighter, so sorry bout it. Oh well, at least he’ll always have the memory of the time he shook his hose for charity, all the while knowing that his boys back in Florida would have hell to give him when he got home. Yay Bachelorette! See, guys, Josh Bauer was RIGHT to rant!
In the words of Craig, “can we have a hug?” It was a tough week of exits. Nerd-glassed Carl looked totally adorable and only slightly wooden. Nick’s was, um, really sweet until the robot outro he did. Producers, leave the poor guy alone, okay? And as for Mr. Muhlbauer, well, maybe watching the tape back will make him relax the booze a little.