Bachelorette 2014: Why Andi Dorfman Didn’t Pick Nick Viall
Credit: ABC video still    

The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2014: Why Andi Dorfman Didn’t Pick Nick Viall

Professional stalker/burgeoning single white female Nick Viall was brutally rejected by Andi Dorfman during The Bachelorette's season finale, and he's been in a downward spiral of tears, trembles, and questionable henley tees ever since. God knows how many Andi-themed shrines this dude has in his house.

It seems pretty obvious why Andi didn't give Nick her final rose, but girlfriend dished out five concrete reasons during The Bachelorette's season finale, and we've rounded them up. Let's hope Nick is reading this list, because he desperately needs to take the hint.

Shockingly, Andi wasn't in love with Nick. Which she told him. To his face. And he refused to believe. "I wasn't in love with him," Andi stated during The Bachelorette's “After The Final Rose” special. "That's why I didn't tell him I was in love with him. If I felt like I was in love with you, I would have said that. That's why I was very careful not to say that." To quote our favorite Jennifer Aniston movie, she's just not that into you.

Unfortunately, Nick makes everyone really anxious and uncomfortable, which Andi tenderly explained to him during their breakup. "Knowing the intensity between us, I felt that worry," she said. "That worry about there being so much intensity." We too felt that worry, Andi. We felt that worry so hard. Unfortunately, the only thing Nick seemed to feel were his own salty tears of despair and ennui.

As we all know, Nick paid a lot of attention during this season of The Bachelorette. Like, so much attention, that he made an entire fan-fiction novel out of his experiences. Sadly, his probing analysis of life and love was a total turn-off to Andi. "Honestly, the last date I wanted to just have fun," she explained during their breakup. "I wanted to relax, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't do that with you. We both sit here and we over-analyze everything, and I feel like a life with you would be over-analyzing every single moment." Basically, Nick's a bug-a-boo. You buggin' what, you buggin' who, you buggin' Andi.

Andi had her fair share of issues with Nick (including but not limited to his obsession with exposing his chest to the world), but the main problem in their relationship? She loved Josh Murray more. "How do you compete with a greater relationship, how do you compete with a greater love," she told Chris Harrison. "At the end of the day thats all this comes down to. There's nothing wrong that Nick did, there was nothing wrong with our relationship except something else was more right." Yeah, there was nothing wrong with their relationship! Except items 1-3 on this list, of course.

Andi failed to mention the fact that Nick is a stage-five clinger, but judging from the fact that he tried to follow her to Mexico, then showed up uninvited to the “Men Tell All” and penned her an epic love letter, we're thinking it's pretty obvious. This is like Fatal Attraction all over again, except even more ‘80s, thanks to Josh Murray's terrible fashion crimes.