5 Biggest WTF Moments From The Bachelor: Hometown and Overnight Dates!
This week's episode of The Bachelor was double the pleasure, double the fun, by which we mean double the WTF. Seriously, we gained about ten pounds watching Juan Pablo Galavis woo the ladies for four entire hours, mostly because we had to shove pizza into our mouths just to stop ourselves from screaming at the television. There is so much WTF-itude to discuss, so without further ado, please check out this week's most head-scratching moments. And, as always, feel free to add to our list in the comments. This is a safe space where all WTFs are welcome!
We need to talk about Juan Pablo's fashion. At first, his bright-colored shirts and inexplicable scarves were kind of adorable, but after further analysis we've realized that Juan Pablo's stylist has a vendetta against him. It's the only explanation for the "clothing" (if you can call it that) he wore this week. Exhibit A: a sweater with cut off sleeves LAYERED OVER a long sleeved T-shirt. It literally made no sense, unless you have the mental age of a five year old, in which case it made perfect sense. (No comment on Juan Pablo's mental age.). No wonder Hy Dorfman laughed him off to the loony bin. Exhibit B: Juan Pablo's free-flowing linen pants, which he chose to wear with his favorite accessory, a dainty anklet. This outfit can only be described as a hate crime against our eyeballs, and we have penned a letter to Juan Pablo's stylist demanding an explanation.
2. Juan Pablo Can't Stop Saying "OK"
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We know Juan Pablo speaks The Language of Love (aka Spanish), but his inability to stop saying the word "OK" was more than just a language barrier. Andi Dorfman was practically begging him to come up with a different adjective, but our little El Bachelor just couldn't help himself. It's like his mouth was an "OK Corral" (LOL, get it?) and was physically incapable of dishing out any alternative words. As far as we're concerned, Juan Pablo's inability to get a handle on his word choice boils down to one of two possible explanations: a) he hates Andi and is extremely passive aggressive. b) he's a robot and his control panel malfunctioned.
3. Chris Harrison Isn't Even Trying Anymore
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You guys, Chris Harrison is so jaded. Gone are the days when he'd randomly pop out of rose bushes to say "hello, ladies," and gone are the days when he'd show up at group dates just for funsies. Now, Chris Harrison spends his time avoiding the camera as much as possible (too busy designing menswear?), and slacking off at his job being Juan Pablo's personal pimp. Those Fantasy Suite invitations are all the proof we need that Chris Harrison is being paid to parlay sexual favors, and it seems as though he's so ashamed of his status as a hustler that he can no longer bear to be on the show.
4. Juan Pablo Makes Friends With Local Children, Doesn't Get Arrested
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Dear tiny tots of St. Lucia. We apologize for Juan Pablo wandering up to you, saying "hi, little boy" in your general direction, and forcing you to drink juice. Sure, this dude was simply trying to demonstrate how great he is with kids so that Andi would want to fill up her uterus with his babies, but these kids were not having it. Especially when Juan Pablo took his shirt off for no reason and made them all play soccer with him. The youth of St. Lucia want no part of your weird date with Andi, Juan Pablo. Stop trying to make fútbol happen.
5. Juan Pablo Rides Mechanical Bull, Our Eyes Melt
Juan Pablo visited Nikki Ferrell's hometown of Kansas City, Missouri, this week, and proceeded to make love to the first robotic bull he came across. While we understand that mechanical bull-riding is a sport many midwesterners enjoy, we're not sure it was completely necessary for ABC to film Juan Pablo pelvic thrusting directly into a camera lens, nor was it necessary for Juan Pablo to ride that poor bull so sensually. All we're saying is that we have an all-too clear understanding of what went down in the Fantasy Suites thanks to this terrifying experience. Also, it goes without saying that the classic film Urban Cowboy has forever been ruined for us.
What were your favorite WTF moments from this week's double episode? Hit the comments and let us know!