Credit: FOX

The X Factor is truly the gift that keeps on giving, much like Britney Spears' hair extensions. Not only are we treated to the dulcet tones of random plebeians serenading L.A. Reid as he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, we're bamboozled with all kinds of musings about talent, fame, and –– this week –– small, passed-out children. Check out the top 10 quotes from last night's round of auditions, and please feel free to transform these bad boys into song lyrics.

10. Simon taunts a dehydrated child: "You get one chance at this Trevor, so you gonna nail it?"
Just let the kid drink some fluids, jeez SIMON.

9. Britney tries her hand at a compliment: "I liked you a lot."
Don't look directly in her eyes, y’all.

8. Owen Stewart chats about his girlfriend: "Being away from Tori is the absolute worst pain I've ever felt."
We feel the exact same way — except Tori's name is Britney.

7. Britney crushes Owen's hopes and dreams: "You didn't wow me."
Poor dude might as well shave his head and grab the nearest umbrella.

6. L.A. Reid disses the contestants: "They were horrible."
Sigh, we're so worried he's about to shiv someone with that pen.

5. Simon admits that he's a kitten killer: "Years ago I sat on two cats and that's what it sounded like."
Ummmm. We have so many questions.

4. L.A. sums up Jordan: "I THINK SHE'S A BUNDLE OF JOY."
We felt all caps were necessary.

3. Demi forms a sentence: "That was like a nose dive with a cork screw."
This makes sense in the language of love.

2. Britney real talks, causes mass suffering: "Singing is definitely not your thing, sweetie."
Let them eat cake, y'all.

1. Jordan announces the name of her future album: "Pink Glitter."
This is all that matters.

Credit: YouTube Photo: Watch Trevor Moran Sing "I'm Sexy and I Know It" in X Factor 2012 Audition on Sept. 27 (VIDEO)