Somewhere, in a tiny bedroom under the stairs in a house in San Antonio, Texas, we imagine that Reed Deming is crying. Tears fall down his delicate Bieber-y face as he reads this, realizing that this Thursday, his role model, Bruno Mars, will be performing on The X Factor. Dreams, guys, dreams are what we have all lost. And childhood dreams can never be regained. 

But for the rest of us, those of us who never appeared on television in a woman’s blazer and made earnest statements ten years too serious for us to get away with, it’s just another fun Thursday event. Despite Bruno’s sisters’ throwdown with the show’s group LYLAS (now Fifth Harmony), the superstar will be performing on December 13, 2012.

Let’s hope none of the semi-finalists were planning on singing any of his songs to save themselves. Because Bruno was only kidding when he said he’d take a grenade for them....

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