Okay, America! Last night we voted, tonight someone goes home. We all know how this works, right? Right. Tonight’s show kicks off with a group number to David Guetta’s “Without You.” It’s not quite as cheesy as American Idol group numbers usually are, which is super-disappointing, honestly.
Recap of last night! Simon loves the Hogzz, Rachel Crow remains soul-crushingly adorable, Josh and Melanie blew the roof off the place, inTENsity has 610947 members, Drew is a magical fairy princess of music, Stacy took us to church, etc. Whatever, we all watched it, we don’t really need this refresher.
After the break, we get a behind-the-scenes product placement bit with all of the contestants talking about how much they want to be in a Pepsi commercial. Uh, guys? You’re basically in a Pepsi commericial right now.
As inspiration for the winner’s Pepsi commercial, or whatever, we get a performance from Outasight, whose song “Tonight is the Night” is featured in Pepsi’s current ad campaign. He’s wearing a suit and sunglasses and there’s a massive laser show. He looks like an accountant. A good-looking accountant, but definitely an accountant, and it’s kind of weird. Good song, though.
Time for some results! But first, a behind-the-scenes video. Shockingly, none of the contestants wish to be eliminated tonight. And here we were, thinking someone would volunteer to go home. Duh!
Green Mile time! The judges each come out with their contestants, and it’s hilarious because Paula’s leading a freakin’ army.
Okay, time for some results, for real now. The first act safe is: Marcus Canty! Next: Drew! Next: will be announced after the break. Steve Jones, dude, you are no Ryan Seacrest. You have not built up enough goodwill over a billion seasons for that crap to be cute!
Back from the break: Leroy is through! Astro is through! Lakoda Rayne is through! Rachel Crow is through! God, this is a terrible way to do this. Chris Rene is through! Josh Krajcik is through! Melanie Amaro is through! Aaaaand... Stacy Francis!
Which means The Stereo Hogzz and inTENsity are in trouble. “It’s hard to identify with groups,” Paula says, which we’re pretty sure is 100 percent the problem. It’s difficult to care enough to vote when you don’t even necessarily know the names of the group members, you know?
After the commercial, The Stereo Hogzz are up first, performing a sweet version of the Bee-Gees “Emotions.” They have some really beautiful harmonies, and this song is awesome, so, way to go, Hogzz!
And now... inTENsity will sing for their sweet little lives. They’re performing “My Life Would Suck Without You.’ Specifically what’s-her-name, Elona, is singing, mostly. It’s cute. They in no way deserve to stay over The Stereo Hogzz.
Simon votes to send home the Hogzz because they were weaker tonight (lies). Paula votes to send home inTENsity, as do Nicole and L.A.., so that’s it for the Disney brigade. Sorry, kiddos.
What do you think? Did the judges make the right choice, or would you have said goodbye to The Stereo Hogzz?