Another week, another beautiful hang session with The X Factor. Each episode of this fight-to-the-death singing competition is even better than the next, but sometimes we scratch our heads in confusion (mostly when Khloe Kardashian talks) and WTF all over our personal pizza. This week's results show was packed to the brim with WTFs, and we've rounded up our faves for you to look back on.
1. Khloe Has The Sads
Who knows if it's the fact that she was wearing black glitter (black = sad times), but Khloe seemed filled with ennui. While Mario was all peppy and "Look at my dimples! Love is in the air!" Khloe spent most of the episode dower and super-intense — presumably to emphasize the realness of this week's double elimination. Girlfriend takes her job super seriously, guys. Her heart was weeping for Paige and Vino, which brings us to....
2. Paige and Vino Get Auf'd!
Um, unacceptable. We know Paige isn't the most popular gal on the X Factor block (she's totally House Hufflepuff), but her performance was top notch. Way to let a girl down, America. We blame all of you. And speaking of the good ol' USofA, everyone seems to have forgotten that Vino Alan is our nation's biggest champion. His blood is red, white and blue — that's how American he is. How could this great country vote off its mascot? We'll wave some amber waves of grain for you, Vino.
3. Diamond Tries To Make Eye-Contact With Britney — DENIED
Poor Diamond is so alone in this world. Home girl has sung to save her life multiple times, but does she find comfort in her mentor, the great and powerful Britney Spears? Pshhhhhh, please. This week, poor Diamond made the mistake of looking into Britney's eyes, and was completely ignored. Franky, she should consider herself lucky that she didn't spontaneously burst into flame as punishment.
2. Alicia Keys Fondles Mario's Ear
Mario literally cannot go one episode without being sexually assaulted. It's like people just can't help themselves, they must either squeeze his butt, fondle his dimples, or (in this week's case) tenderly stroke his earlobe. Yep, Alicia Keys chose to celebrate her X Factor performance by standing next to Mario's beautiful self, tickling his ear in a frenzy, and then skipping off stage as fast as she could while Mario giggled gleefully. Being a perfect human specimen is both a curse and a blessing.
1. Drew Chadwick Plays Stomach Drums
Did anyone else notice that our favorite enthusiastic Emblem3 bro, Drew Chadwick, was playing drums on his abs while Mario and Sad Khloe were announcing the leaderboard? It was SO LOUD, and SO AMAZING. It's like he was playing the soundtrack to his own fate, six-pack style. We fully expect this dude to record an album of ab-thumps.