X Factor bootcamp is a giant hot mess of magical wonder, yet Simon Cowell and his minions always end up finding a handful of shining stars. Get the lowdown by checking out our favorite performances of the week!
1. Diamond White Makes L.A. Enter a Blissed-Out Trance
She came, she saw, she conquered. In other words, veni vidi vici, ya'll. 13-year-old Diamond's spectacular performance of "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston blew the judges away, though it's hard to determine whether or not they were simply hypnotized by her silver pants. Either way, Princess Di's competition looked like they were going to throw themselves off the sound stage in a bitter rage, so thumbs up!
2. Jennel Garcia Shakes It Like a Polaroid Picture
Who knows what Janelle gets up to in that flannel-filled mechanic's garage she lives in, but apparently she spends a lot of time listening to "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child. Let's just say, Simon Cowell is not ready for Janelle's jelly. This gal sang started her performance by letting down her hair, and proceeded to belt out an amazing rendition of "Sweeter" by Gavin DeGraw. The boys could barely contain their pre-pubescent feelings.
3. Vino Studs It Up, We Swoon Into a Pile Of Shrimp-Flavored Chips
You guys, Vino is full bodied and pungent with hints of springtime dew — just like a glass of fine wine. His version of "Bad Company" by Bad Company was la-la-lovely, earned L.A. Reid's head bop of approval, and even better? Britney Spears didn't look like she was going to drown herself in her jumbo sized Pepsi Dragon. In short? We want to rub Vino's bald, tattoo-covered head.
4. Emblem3 Harmonize While Surfing With Their Minds
Our inner child weeps tears of happiness everytime Emblem3 come on stage. They're loud, they're proud, and they aren't afraid to harmonize delicately like a fleet of choir boys. Also, we completely approve of Emblem3's extremely 90s choice of "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls, which has basically made us want to marry all three of them in a giant polygamist ceremony.
5. Willie Jones and His Flat Top Inspire Us To Wear Denim-on-Denim
Please send us presents, because we are officially married to Willie Jones (in our imagination, which is real). Our affair started when Willie tied a flannel shirt around his waist, but things really heated up during his performance of "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney — which (in case you didn't realize) is a song about sexy tractors. To quote: "she likes the way I pull it while im tilling up the land." Yes, please!
6. CeCe Will "Always Love You," But We Will Never Love Her Leopard Tattoo
CeCe's voice just won't stop being amazing. Clearly, home girl's face tattoo is giving her enhanced vocal superpowers, because her performance of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" was show-stopping. And yes, we cried from all the feelings! Sorry, Paige, but Dolly and her Double D's have chosen their protege.
7. Beatrice and Carly Pump Up Their Kicks!
You guys, Beatrice and Carly are so cute and wee. We just want to adopt them and force them to sing hipster melodies about ironic shoes all day long! These two little ladies performed Foster The People's "Pumped Up Kicks" and had all the judges teary-eyed with pride. Next stop, Elliott Smith. Next-next stop, Bright Eyes and prison tattoos. It's all happening!
8. Arin and Normani Make Fall In Love
Honestly, we don't even remember Arin and Normani's performance (lies, it was wonderful). All that matters is their love. Simon is basically a half-naked cupid, and he has brought these two together with the love potion that is Pepsi Dragon. Unlike titanic, theirs is a ship that will never sink.
9. Jillian Makes Britney Cry
First Demi, now Britney... it's like Jillian can't take the stage without making a pop star break down into tears. Despite the fact that Jill's partner, Latasha, flaked out on their performance of "Stay" by Sugarland, Jillian rocks that Judges socks off. And by socks we mean spiked denim jackets. Werk, girl.