We feel so many feelings, and all of them are even more confusing than Britney Spears' new bangs. The X Factor's final week is upon us, which means one random street urchin will walk away with a $5 million record deal and more Pepsi Dragon than you can possibly imagine.
We're hopeful, fearful, eating comfort Cheez Wiz, and most importantly, super-duper excited. In fact, we're so pumped that we've rounded up the 5 most thrilling moments of the evening! Including but not limited to a crazy lady yelling "I GOT A PUPPY NAMED TATER."
1. Fifth Harmony Is Secretly Lisa Frank
The beautiful union that used to be LYLAS have a secret. They were transported from a magical land full of trapper-keepers, rainbow popsicles, hugging penguins, and tigers in Santa hats — aka the 90s. In fact, we're pretty sure Fifth Harmony was birthed from Lisa Frank's rainbow womb. The enormous flying unicorn flapping around in the background of "Anything Could Happen" is all the proof you'll need.
2. Random Troupe of Drummers Introduce The Judges
The X Factor really went all out with their Christmas theme. Not only did two epic trees flank the stage (amazing decorating job, Reed Deming), a eager fleet of Little Drummer Boys popped out of nowhere and jubilantly pounded their instruments in a frenzy. And then the X Factor judges walked through them oozing Christmas miracles while doing so, and it was just like, chestnuuuuuts roasting on an open fiiiiire!
3. IT'S CARLY ROSE DAY, EVERYONE
Move over Christmas, your time is over. Today is Carly Rose Sonenclar Day according to some ancient old mayor named Norman who presides over Westchester, New York. You shall hence force spend December 19th bowing down to statues of Carly, wearing a fedora made out of lace, and taking pilgrimage to Madame Tussauds to hold hands with Britney Spears' wax fingers. Bow down.
4. Forget Carly, TATE GETS HIS OWN WATER TOWER
Oh, dang, everyone. Tate Stevens just got his name plastered on a town water tower, and we couldn't be more happy. Tate rules all the water! He is the king of H 2 the izz-0! Sigh, we're so thrilled this guy is finally accomplishing his goals. Years of playing Sim Farm Town have really paid off. BONUS: This lady (right) is Tate’s No. 1 fan, and we are now her No. 1 fan, all due to the fact that she screamed about her new puppy named Tater and seemed like she might be an SNL skit come to life. Photo courtesy of Simon Curtis's Instagram.
5. Demi Serenades Simon, Is Flawless While Doing So
Demi and Simon are like two star-crossed lovers. Basically they're Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo was a terrifyingly hairy old man and Juliet was a feisty pop star. These two have been flirting up a storm since The X Factor debuted, but Demi took her passion and made it happen during her performance of "Give Your Heart A Break," in which she sang into Simon's face while his chest hairs exploded with love. Basically, they musically consummated their relationship.