Yolanda Hadid Considered Suicide During Lyme Disease Battle
Yolanda Hadid’s Lyme disease battle was documented on television, but viewers never saw the darkest parts of the reality star’s struggle.
The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is opening up about her health struggle in her new memoir, Believe Me: My Battle With the Invisibility of Lyme Disease, and how it deeply affected her life.
Along with causing a strain on her then-marriage to husband David Foster, the disease even pushed the 57-year-old to consider suicide.
"I take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting,” she writes in a excerpt from her book.
“The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me.”
She continues, “Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the water's ebb and flow.”
The mother of three was first diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2012 and spent years trying to find a cure for her aches and pains.
She suffered from exhaustion, insomnia, and debilitating anxiety. Not only did she have a hard time being social, but she could barely gather the strength to get out of bed.
"God please just take me away in a wave. I can't live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear,” she continues in the book.
“My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and that's the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown."
After years of struggle and pain, the former Bravolebrity says she is now in what feels like remission and is looking forward to the future.
"As difficult as these past five years have been, I am so grateful that this journey has led me to living in the light,” she shares.
“I have had it all and lost it all, only to see that less is more, money can't buy you health or happiness, and one day at a time is good enough."
Since leaving RHOBH following Season 6, Yolanda also left the west coast and moved out to New York to be closer to her children.
In fact, she moved to a farm complete with horses, cows, and acres of land.
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Believe Me: My Battle with the Invisible Disability of Lyme Disease hits shelves in February 2017.